Unbelievable Tenerife Golf Getaway: Alua Atlantico Awaits!
Unbelievable Tenerife Golf Getaway: Alua Atlantico Awaits! - A Review with a Side of Chaos
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because I'm about to unleash my inner travel guru on the Alua Atlantico in Tenerife. Forget the polished brochures, people. I'm giving you the REAL deal, warts and all. And let me tell you, this place… it’s got stuff. Lots and lots of stuff. Let's dive in.
Accessibility – The Crucial First Impression (and the Biggest Fear)
Okay, so let's be upfront: I’m not a wheelchair user, but I’m hyper-aware of accessibility because, let's be honest, it's often overlooked and totally ruins a holiday for some. The website claims it's accessible. I saw elevators, ramps, and the like. I didn't personally test everything to its limits, BUT, from what I could see, they seemed to be trying. This is ALWAYS a HUGE plus. And I'm talking about real, thoughtful accessibility, not just slapping a ramp on and calling it a day. (Side note: a proper review would involve a disabled guest's experience, which I, unfortunately, do not have. But keep this in mind).
Cleanliness and Safety – Because Let's Face It, We're Living in a Post-COVID World (and My Anxiety is Real)
Alright, hand sanitizer stations WERE EVERYWHERE. Like, seriously, you couldn't swing a dead cat (metaphorically, of course) without bumping into one. They were clearly on it. And signs everywhere reminding you about distancing, masks, yada yada. Not my favorite, because, let's be honest, I like to breathe, but I get it. I saw people regularly disinfecting what seemed like everything. The rooms were supposedly sanitized between stays (and I’m assuming they meant it with the level of effort I saw elsewhere in the place.) I'm a bit of a germaphobe (don't judge!) so this was a massive win for me. And they even had individually wrapped food options and a cashless payment service, which really soothed my slightly irrational germ anxiety.
The Room - My Personal Sanctuary (or Bunker?)
Okay, let's be honest, the room is WHERE IT ALL HAPPENS. (You know, sleep, shower, complain about the lack of sun).
- The Good: Air conditioning (essential!), Blackout curtains (bliss!), Free Wi-Fi (thank the gods!), a decent-sized bathroom with a bathtub (I will never not appreciate a bathtub!). They even had a little "extras" like complimentary tea and free bottled water, which made me feel slightly fancy. And, dare I say, it felt CLEAN. Properly clean.
- The "Meh": The décor was… functional rather than inspiring. Think “beige with a hint of beige.” But hey, I'm not here to judge interior design. The bed was comfy enough, but maybe not the most luxurious. A minor niggle: there was a slightly odd smell in the hallway outside my room at one point, but I suspect that was due to someone's cooking, and not the hotel's fault.
- The Absolute BEST thing? The balcony. A balcony that opened fully and had a lovely (albeit not breathtaking) view. This is where I’d go for my moment of peace, a place to sip my coffee and stare out at the sea (or the pool, depending on which side of hotel I was staying at – which did offer a pool view).
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking - Fueling the Holiday Beast
This is where things got interesting. And by interesting, I mean… varied.
- Restaurants: There are several. A buffet, a la carte, a poolside bar, and a coffee shop. The buffet was… a buffet. Think varied options. There was always something I wanted. I’m a sucker for a good salad, and I'd always manage to find something that I was happy with. The Asian cuisine restaurant got some pretty stellar reviews (I didn't try it. Regrets.)
- The Bar: The bar was… a bar. Drinks were decent. Happy hour was, well, happy. I'm sure their cocktails are fine, though I stuck with some basic soft drinks due to driving.
- The Food Delivery (because I'm lazy): They had it! Perfect for those days when you just wanted to wallow in your room and eat.
Things to Do and Ways to Relax – The Question of "What Now?"
- The Pools: Multiple pools. One with a view. One with a swim-up bar (score!). Plenty of sun loungers (crucial).
- The Spa: Ooh, the spa! A spa/sauna? Steamroom? Body scrub? Yes, please! I don’t know what I was expecting, but the spa exceeded my expectations. It was a sanctuary. I booked myself a treatment (forget what – the massage! Yes, I remember now) and emerged feeling like a new woman. Definitely a highlight. Seriously. Book a massage. Just do it.
- The Fitness Center: I, uh, saw it. It seemed to have equipment. (I may or may not have actually used it. Let's just say I was very busy relaxing in the spa. And by busy, I mean lying down.).
- The "Other Stuff" They had everything, from a gym to car power charging stations.
Services and Conveniences – Because You Deserve to Be Pampered (Even if You Don't Realize It)
- The Front Desk: 24/7. Super helpful, even when I kept asking the dumbest questions.
- Housekeeping: Daily. Always appreciated.
- Laundry: Available. Because, let’s face it, after a week of sun and fun, you're going to need it.
- Concierge: I did not use it. (Note to self: next time, actually use the concierge. They probably know all the good stuff.)
- Other Stuff: Currency exchange, doctor/nurse on call, and a gift/souvenir.
For the Kids – Keeping the Little Hooligans Occupied
I didn't have kids on my trip, but the hotel seemed incredibly family-friendly. They had kids facilities, babysitting, and all the things you'd expect.
Getting Around – Airport Transfer and Parking! (Let the Adventure Begin)
- Airport Transfer: Available. (Hallelujah!)
- Parking: Free on-site parking. A HUGE bonus!
- Taxi Service: Present.
SEO Stuff (Let's Get This Ranked!)
- Keywords: Tenerife, Golf Getaway, Alua Atlantico, Hotel Review, Accessible Hotel, Spa, Pool, Family Friendly, Free Wi-Fi, All-Inclusive, Beach Holiday, Canary Islands.
- Location Focus: The area felt safe, clean, and well, touristy. The hotel is a short distance from the golf course (which is the whole point, right?) and the beach, and offers easy access to various attractions.
My Verdict (Brutally Honest, as Always)
Look, the Alua Atlantico isn’t perfect. But it's a solid choice for a Tenerife golf getaway or sunny escape. It's a place where you can kick back, relax, and recharge. The staff were generally friendly and helpful (minus a couple of minor communication blips, because perfection is boring), the facilities were good, and the spa was a total winner. It's clean, it's safe, and it ticks all the boxes for a stress-free holiday.
So, is it worth it?
HELL YES!
Here's the ultimate, irresistible offer for your Tenerife Golf Getaway:
Escape to Paradise: Unleash Your Inner Golfer (and Spa Lover!) at the Alua Atlantico!
- Book your stay by [Date - End of the Month] and receive:
- 15% off your room rate! (Get those savings in the bag!)
- Complimentary welcome drink! (Cheers to sunshine and relaxation!)
- Free access to the spa's sauna and steam room for the duration your stay! (Indulge in ultimate relaxation)
- Early check-in AND late check-out! (Because extra time to enjoy your holiday is always a win!)
Why Choose Alua Atlantico?
- Unbeatable Location: Right on the golden coast and within easy reach of the golf course!
- Luxury and Comfort: Relax in stylish rooms with all the amenities you could dream of.
- Award-Winning Spa: Treat yourself to a massage you'll never forget!
- Dedicated Golf Packages: Enhance your golfing adventure with exclusive offers.
- Family-Friendly Fun: Keep the kids entertained with our fantastic kids' facilities.
- Unwavering Cleanliness and Safety: Your peace of mind is our top priority.
**Don't miss out on this exclusive opportunity to create unforgettable memories! Book now and prepare for the ultimate Tenerife Golf Getaway at the Alua Atlantico
Sapa's BEST Family Balcony Room: Stunning City Views!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this Alua Atlantico Golf Tenerife itinerary is gonna be less "perfectly curated Instagram feed" and more "drunk uncle at a family wedding, spilling his secrets." Prepare for a rollercoaster of highs, lows, and possibly mild sunburn.
Alua Atlantico Golf Tenerife: My Actual, Messy, Gloriously Human Trip
Day 1: Arrival and Utter Discombobulation
- Morning (or, let's be honest, late morning): Finally! Landed in Tenerife South. Airport? Chaos. Took roughly an hour to find the right taxi, the driver seemed to be permanently stuck in first gear and chattered endlessly in Spanish. I understood maybe every fifth word. Gracias, amigo? I think I offered him a tip, I can't remember. Jet lag is a cruel mistress.
- Mid-day: Arrived at Alua Atlantico. The lobby? Big, shiny, and smelled suspiciously of chlorine. Check-in was smoother than expected, which lulled me into a false sense of security. My room? Oh boy. Tiny. Balcony overlooking… the air conditioning units. Okay, realism check: this is not the Ritz.
- Afternoon: Lunch. The buffet. Oh, the buffet. A glorious, sprawling, carb-laden testament to human greed. I piled my plate with… well, everything. Pasta, paella, questionable-looking seafood salad. I ate with the enthusiasm of a starving man. Then immediately regretted it. Food coma.
- Evening: Stumbled out of my room, disoriented. Attempted to find the pool but got lost in a maze of identical corridors. Gave up and sat on my balcony. Watched the sun set, feeling a surprising pang of… loneliness? This solo travel thing is gonna be… interesting. Ordered a suspiciously strong gin and tonic from room service. This is gonna be good.
Day 2: The Golfing Debacle (and a Discovery)
- Morning: Sigh. Okay, golf. I'd vowed to learn. Woke up with a foggy head. The golf course was gorgeous. The scenery: stunning. My swing? A disaster. I sliced, I hooked, I whiffed. I was basically a windmill of flailing limbs. One memorable shot sent the ball flying… into the ocean. At least the seagulls got a good laugh. After losing approximately 10 golf balls (I think), I called it quits. Humiliation level: Expert.
- Mid-day: Drowning my sorrows with a massive burger and a pint of something dark at the clubhouse. The views here are truly something, though. Overlooking those greens. Just a stunning view, and it sort of makes me miss my dog, who would have loved to chase the squirrels here.
- Afternoon: I ditched golf and decided to explore. Walked along the coast, found a small, hidden beach. The water was crystal clear. The sun, warm. The sand, perfect. Sat there for hours, just listening to the waves. It was so incredibly peaceful. Found a place to buy this amazing mango smoothie, I have never had anything so tasty. It felt like a small miracle. My mood instantly lifted. This is why I travel. Small moments of pure joy.
- Evening: Dinner again in the chaotic buffet. This time, armed with a better strategy. Started with the salad bar (smart move!). Found some surprisingly good tapas (the chorizo was a revelation). Watched a cheesy hotel show - think bad singing and questionable dance moves. But hey, it was entertainment. And the sangria was flowing. (More of it).
Day 3: Diving Deep (and Finding My Inner Child)
- Morning: Decided to try scuba diving. Because why not? I’ve been saying I will learn for years. Apparently, I’m still terrified of the ocean. But I did it and managed to get through the training session. Turns out, I'm actually pretty good underwater. Witnessed these incredible fish. Even saw a turtle. Surreal. Changed my perspective.
- Mid-day: Back at the hotel, I found… something. The kids' pool! Okay, hear me out. I felt free. I wanted to be carefree. I am swimming with kids. I felt like a total idiot, but I didn't care. I built enormous castles of water, and splashed until I was exhausted. In a way, I was finally able to let go of everything, of all the stress.
- Afternoon: Sunbathed. Read a book (finally, I had some peace and quiet). Sipped more mango smoothies. Just existing. It's amazing how restorative the simplest things can be.
- Evening: Found a small Italian restaurant down the road. Had the BEST pasta I've ever eaten. Talked to the owner about his family. It was charming.
Day 4: More Golfing, More Humiliation
- Morning: I hate this stupid golf course. I hate the sun. I hate my swing. I still went back to hit more balls. The same story repeats: I was a whirling dervish of bad form. I swear, I think I was being watched.
- Mid-day: I just skipped lunch. I didn't want to be around anyone. I'm feeling so defeated, and I went back to the room and just lied down, feeling defeated.
- Afternoon: Back to the beach. This time, I just went for a walk. I walked for hours, found a small cliff side and sat there listening to the waves.
- Evening: I still can't believe I skipped dinner. I was so tired. So upset. So alone.
Day 5: Departure (and a Promise to Return)
- Morning: Packed my bag. Said goodbye (sort of) to the balcony view. Checked out. The whole process was surprisingly easy.
- Mid-day: The airport was still chaotic, but by this point, I was numb to the mayhem. Got on the plane.
- Afternoon: As the plane took off, I looked out at the island below. The good, the bad, the ugly… it all coalesced into a memory. A messy, human memory. And you know what? I wouldn't trade it for anything. Maybe I'll even go back. Maybe I'll actually learn to golf. (Probably not). But yeah, Tenerife… You're alright.
- Final thought: My skin is a bit red, my bank account is a little lighter and my spirit is a bit fuller. I came here seeking perfection, and I found the beautiful, messy mess of life.
Unbelievable Tenerife Golf Getaway: Alua Atlantico Awaits! – Your Burning Questions (and My Rants!) Answered
1. Okay, Okay, Tenerife Golf Getaway... Sounds Expensive. How Much Will This Actually Cost Me? (And Can I Afford It?)
2. Alua Atlantico? Is it... You Know... Nice? I've Stayed in Some Dumps in My Time...
3. Golf Courses! Which Ones are Included? And Are They Any GOOD? Because I'm *Serious* About My Handicap. (Sort Of...)
4. Tell Me About This Golf Del Sur Golf Course. I've Heard Whispers...
5. What About the 19th Hole? Are There Good Post-Round Options? Because Let's Be Honest, That's Half the Fun.
