Escape to Paradise: Merrils Beach Resort II Awaits in Negril!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving HEADFIRST into the messy, glorious, and sometimes slightly sunburned world of Escape to Paradise: Merrils Beach Resort II in Negril. Forget those sterile travel brochures, this is the REAL deal. I'm talking… well, I'm talking about a whirlwind of sun, sand, and the occasional near-disaster with a rogue jerk chicken.
(WARNING: May contain actual human thoughts and feelings. Proceed with caution.)
First, the Basics (and a few rambles):
Right off the bat, let's be real. Negril is gorgeous. The water? That turquoise you dream about. The sand? Powdery perfection. Merrils II? It's on that beach. Pure, unadulterated beach bliss. But let's not pretend it's flawless. No place is. It's about what it does well, and where it falls a little… short.
Accessibility Woes and Wins:
Okay, this is where we get serious for a sec. Accessibility. It's a MUST in 2024. And look, Merrils II does some things right. They have facilities for disabled guests listed, and an elevator, which is a huge plus. But I'm not going to lie, the terrain around the beach can be tricky. I saw a couple of folks with mobility issues navigating the sand with a cane and they certainly had to work to get from where they were staying to the beach bar. The website doesn't scream ultra-accessible, but if you're serious about it, call and ask SPECIFIC questions. Don’t just take their word for it. Verify.
The Cleanliness & Safety Circus – A Mixed Bag:
Alright, let's crack open the safety-and-hygiene file. They say (and this is VERY important, what they SAY vs what they DO is always key) they use "anti-viral cleaning products," do "daily disinfection in common areas," and even have "rooms sanitized between stays." They have "staff trained in safety protocol" which is also essential. Okay, so they're TRYING. I did see a guy wiping down the buffet utensils, which was reassuring. But honestly? The hand sanitizer stations could have been better stocked. (Seriously, a small thing, but I noticed! I’m a hand sanitizer STAN.) They have "hot water linen and laundry washing" which is also fantastic, but again you can tell that some things were perhaps not up to that same standard.
The Food Fight (and the Jerk Chicken Incident):
This is where things get… interesting. Let’s talk grub. Merrils II has a variety of restaurants. They have Asian options, which is kind of quirky, and western options. Now, this is important. The buffet breakfast? Decent. Buffet is a buffet. The scrambled eggs were, well, scrambled eggs. The fruit was fresh, and the coffee was strong. You'll find a "vegetarian restaurant" which is a nice touch, but really it comes down to the a la carte restaurant for dinner. The jerk chicken… alright, let’s be honest. The jerk chicken was a spiritual experience. I'm not even kidding. It was PERFECT. Smoky, spicy, falling-off-the-bone deliciousness. HOWEVER… and this is where the “messy” comes in… I also had a near-disaster with it. I ate too much. And then, let’s just say, the night wasn’t quite as idyllic as the day. So, learn from my mistakes. Pace yourself. That chicken is a siren song. Other food? They do a good job. "Poolside bar" and "snack bar" definitely delivered. "Bottle of water" is also essential, if you ask me.
Ways to Relax (and Maybe Get a Little Too Relaxed):
Right, the “escape to paradise” part. They have a "swimming pool [outdoor]", which is lovely. And the beach? Seriously, you could spend the whole vacation just existing on that beach. They have a spa, with a "massage" option and a "body scrub" and other amenities. I did a "body wrap" – I felt like a giant, albeit relaxed, burrito. There is a "fitness center" if you somehow feel the need to work out. (No judgment.) They don't have the spa and steamroom advertised on the website, which is worth bearing in mind.
The Hotel Vibe (and the Occasional Quirks):
The staff? Generally, lovely. Jamaican hospitality is a real thing. They're friendly, helpful, and genuinely seem to want you to have a good time. The rooms are… well, they're clean. Clean is good. Air conditioning? Thank GOD, it works. They have "non-smoking rooms" which is important to note. They have "daily housekeeping" which is important and they do a solid job. I did see a slightly suspect stain on a curtain. Don't expect ultra-luxury. Expect comfortable and functional.
The Extras (and The Occasional Hiccups):
"Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!" Okay… it's decent. Don't expect streaming perfection. "Air conditioning in public area" is a must in Jamaica and they deliver. "Room service [24-hour]" which is handy in a pinch. They have "luggage storage" and "laundry service" which is essential for packing light when your only plan is to relax. They also have a "souvenir shop." Proceed with caution there.
For the Kids (and the Potential for Babysitting):
"Family/child friendly." Yes. They have "babysitting service" listed but I don't have personal experience with that.
Getting Around (and Getting Lost):
They have "airport transfer," which is HIGHLY recommended. The drive from the airport is long and bumpy. They also have "taxi service" which is handy and "car park [free of charge]" which is also good, if you're renting.
The Verdict: A (Mostly) Blissful Escape
Look, Escape to Paradise: Merrils Beach Resort II isn't perfect. It's got some quirks. But it's nestled on a stunning beach, the jerk chicken is legendary, and the staff are genuinely welcoming. It's a place where you can actually relax.
The Sales Pitch (Because We Need One!):
Are you craving a REAL escape? Tired of the same old, same old? Book your stay at Escape to Paradise: Merrils Beach Resort II in Negril NOW! Embrace the sunshine, the sand, the ridiculously delicious jerk chicken. It's not just a vacation; it's an experience. And hey, even if you end up with a minor jerk chicken-related issue like yours truly, you'll have a story to tell. And that, my friends, is priceless. Plus, for a limited time, get a FREE rum punch upon arrival! Go on, you deserve it. Click here to book your slice of paradise before those rooms are gone. Trust me, you won't regret it!
Unbelievable Malang Mountain Views from THIS Apartment!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's meticulously color-coded itinerary. We're going to Negril, Jamaica, and it's gonna be a glorious, rum-soaked, sun-kissed mess. Forget perfect – we're aiming for real. This is my real attempt to schedule a vacation, warts and all. And trust me, there will be warts.
Merrils Beach Resort II: The Promised Land (Maybe?) – A Journey to Chaos Edition
Day 1: Arrival and That First Sweet Taste of Freedom (Plus, Sunburn Alert!)
- 12:00 PM (ish) - The Dreaded Airport Ritual: Oh yeah, the airport. I hate the airport. It's a soul-sucking vortex of overpriced coffee and questionable hygiene. But hey, gotta get through it to get to paradise, right? Expect delays. Count on it. Maybe pack a survival kit of snacks, a good book (if you actually intend to read it), earplugs, and a healthy dose of cynicism.
- 2:00 PM (ish) - The Taxi Shuffle: Okay, finally, out of that concrete hellhole! Now, the glorious (and potentially terrifying) taxi ride to Merrils. Buckle up! Jamaicans drive like they're auditioning for a stunt driving movie. Expect reggae blasting, the driver trying to sell you something (ganja, mainly), and a truly breathtaking (and slightly stressful) introduction to Jamaican road culture.
- 3:00 PM (ish) - Check-in and Room Revelation: Hopefully, the room at Merrils isn't a roach motel. Fingers crossed for a decent view! I'm aiming for "charming" and "clean," but I'm prepared for "rustic" and "slightly damp." Okay, breathe. Deep breaths. Throw open the balcony, and inhale that glorious, humid air!
- 3:30 PM - Beach Time! (The Glorious, Sunburn-Inviting Beach): IMMEDIATELY. RUN. TO. THE. BEACH. Forget unpacking. Forget everything. Find a spot, plant yourself under a palm tree, and bask in the glory of the Carribean Sea. However… SLATHER ON that sunscreen, people. Seriously. I'm speaking from experience. Last time I went to the beach my back looked like a lobster's rear end. Learn from my mistakes!
- 6:00 PM - (ish) - Dinner and Drinks at the Resort: Okay, now it's time to refuel. I'm hoping the resort food isn't too bland. But hey, rum punch makes everything taste better, right? I'm thinking jerk chicken, some rice and peas, and maybe a Red Stripe or two. Cheers to the start of the vacay!
- 7:30 PM - The "First Night" Flounder: This is where things usually get a bit hazy. Maybe I'll stumble into a reggae bar, meet some interesting characters, or just collapse from exhaustion. Knowing me, it's probably all three.
Day 2: Seven Mile Beach Shenanigans (And Possibly Failing to Wake Up Early)
- 7:00 AM (HAHAHAHA!) - Wake Up Early? Okay, let's be real. I'm going to try to wake up early and catch the sunrise. Keyword: try. More realistically, I'll probably roll out of bed around 9:00 AM, feeling a bit dusty.
- 9:00 AM - Beach Walk and Breakfast (Eventually): Okay, finally. Coffee is key. Get my butt to the beach, breathe in the salty air. Explore Seven Mile Beach. It's stunning, truly! That sand. That water. Take a few pictures of the waves!
- 10:00 AM - Water Activities(Maybe): This is where the "maybe" comes in. Jet ski? Snorkeling? Paddleboarding? The thought of actually doing any of these things fills me with a profound sense of both excitement and mild terror. Maybe I'll just watch other people do them while sipping a rum punch.
- 12:00 PM - Lunch at a Beach Shack: Finding a local shack on the beach is what I'm aiming for, a place with fresh seafood, reggae music, and a chill vibe. Fish tacos! Ackee and Saltfish! Basically, anything fried.
- 2:00 PM - Relaxation and (Another) Sunburn Prevention: Back to the beach! This time, strategically positioned under an umbrella, diligently reapplying sunscreen. Hopefully, I'll have a conversation, strike a chord with a cute someone, or just zone out with the sound of the waves.
- 6:00 PM - Dinner and Sunset I'm going to make it a point to see the sunset. I'm talking breathtaking, instagrammable, "Oh, my god, it's beautiful" kind of sunset. Then dinner. Maybe a fancy restaurant, or maybe I'll just grab some patties from a street vendor. The world is my oyster!
- 7:30 PM - Finding the Reggae: This is a must. Reggae music, cold beer, dancing. Doesn't have to be fancy, just gotta be an experience.
Day 3: Adventure and Recovery
- 9:00 AM (ish) - Breakfast and a Plan is Brewed: Maybe a more substantial breakfast this time, I will need it. I'm thinking a plan for the day. Is it going to be a trip to Ricks Cafe?
- 10:00 AM - Ricks Cafe: Okay, this place is a tourist trap, but its famous for a reason. This is jumping off cliffs, watching people from all over the world, and just pure energy.
- 1:00 PM - Lunch at Ricks Cafe: This time I'll grab a bite while I'm there.
- 3:00 PM - Back to the Beach: Now that I've gotten my energy out I need to recharge.
- 6:00 PM - Beachside Dinner: Is there anything better than a beachside dinner? Probably not, but I'm still going to find out.
- 7:30 PM - Live Music: I want live music. No negotiation.
Day 4: The Rum Diaries (and Saying Goodbye, Maybe?)
- 9:00 AM - Breakfast and Re-Evaluation: Okay, a day to make plans as the trip begins to wind down.
- 10:00 AM: The Rum Tour! I'll try to make it to a local distillery. Taste the local rum. Maybe buy a bottle…or two.
- 1:00 PM - Enjoy Local Cuisine: Jamaican food: try it, love it. Try a new spot, maybe try the jerk chicken.
- 3:00 PM - Beach and Relaxation: Lay back in the sun.
- 6:00 PM - Final Dinner: Savor the last night!
- 7:30 PM - "The Big Night Out": I'm not sure what this entails, but I'm going to find out.
Day 5: Departure - The Bitter Sweet Farewell
- 7:00 AM - Last Sunrise (Maybe): This time, I'll TRY to get up for the sunrise. Even if I don't make it, I'll try and enjoy my last moments on the beach.
- 9:00 AM - Packing and Panic: Okay, time to pack up the sandy clothes and attempt to cram everything back into my suitcase. This is always a disaster.
- 10:00 AM - Last Dip in the Sea (If There's Time): Gotta get one last swim in before heading home.
- 11:00 AM - Check Out and Taxi Farewell: Say goodbye to Merrils, and hope for a better taxi ride back.
- 1:00 PM - The Dreaded Airport Part 2. Now, all the anticipation of going home.
Important Notes (or, "Things That Might Go Wrong")
- Pace Yourself: I am prone to overdoing it. Seriously. I'll probably drink too much rum, stay up too late, and regret it later. But hey, that's part of the experience, right?
- Embrace the Unexpected: The best travel memories are made outside of the rigid schedule. Things WILL go wrong. Flights will be delayed. The jerk chicken will be too spicy. Embrace the chaos. That's what makes it fun.
- Negotiate Everything: Haggling is expected. Don't be afraid to negotiate prices at the markets and with the taxi drivers.
- Respect the Culture: Be polite, be friendly, and try to learn a few basic phrases in Patois.
- Sunscreen, Sunscreen, Sunscreen! I can't stress this one enough.
- Most importantly: Have fun! This is a vacation. Let loose, laugh a lot, and make some memories.
So, there you have it. My messy, honest, and utterly human attempt at mapping out a Negril adventure. Wish me luck. I'm going to need it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some
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Escape to Paradise: Merrils Beach Resort II & My Negril Mishaps (and a Few Triumphs) - FAQs
Okay, spill the beans! Is Merrils II *actually* paradise? Don't lie. Be honest.
Alright, alright, settling in... Look, "paradise" is a hefty word. Merrils II? Depends on the day, honestly! Some days? Absolutely. Think: waking up to that *turquoise* water, the sand so fine it feels like powdered sugar between your toes… pure bliss. Other days? Well, let's just say the occasional mosquito squadron and the time my air conditioner sounded like a dying robot made me question the whole "Eden on Earth" thing. But the overall vibe? Generally pretty darn close. Just don’t expect *perfection*. That’s boring, anyway, right?
What's the *beach* like? Is the sand as dreamy as the pictures? (Because we all know those pictures are often lying.)
Okay, the beach... the beach is *key*. And thankfully, the pictures mostly hold up! Seven Mile Beach is legendary for a reason, and Merrils II snags a prime slice of it. I spent an embarrassing amount of time – like, hours – just wandering up and down that stretch, the waves tickling my ankles. The sand? It's seriously the powdery-sugar kind. Perfect for building ridiculously elaborate sandcastles that inevitably got flattened by rogue waves within minutes (a metaphor for life, perhaps?). The only tiny downside? Sometimes, and I mean *sometimes*, you’ll encounter the seaweed situation. Not every day, thankfully, but a little bit of seaweed is a part of life. And a few vendors. They're persistent, but a polite "no thank you" usually does the trick. Mostly.
Food! Tell me everything! Is the all-inclusive stuff worth it? (I'm a sucker for all-you-can-eat…)
Food, glorious food! Okay, here's the deal. Merrils II isn't *top-tier gourmet* all-inclusive. But! It's solid. And for the price? Definitely worth it. They have breakfast, lunch, and dinner, with a decent variety. Think your typical Jamaican breakfast (ackee and saltfish, yes please!), burgers (for those days you need a taste of home), grilled fish (fresh!), and some jerk chicken that'll set your tastebuds on fire (in a good way!). I’m a big fan of the jerk sauce. Just, maybe start slow. I learned that the hard way. The buffet can, at times, feel a little…institutional. But, hey, you're on vacation! And there's always the Jerk Chicken lady. You HAVE to try the Jerk Chicken! I went back three times in one day. Oops.
What about drinks? Are the cocktails any good, or are they watered-down disasters?
Drinks? Alright, look: you’re not getting the *absolute finest* liquor in the world. But they’re generous with the rum. And that, my friends, is the most important thing. The cocktails? Pretty good! The rum punch is your friend. Seriously. Make friends with rum punch. I had a few… alright, *many* rum punches. Didn't regret a single one. (The memories, perhaps, are a bit hazy, but that's part of the fun, right?) And the Red Stripe beer? Always refreshing. Just watch out for those beach bars. They’re convenient, but your wallet will feel the pain. Especially after the *ahem* many rums.
Okay, let's talk lodging. What are the rooms *really* like? Are they clean? Any major issues?
The rooms… are a mixed bag, honestly. They're clean, mostly, thank goodness. The ones near the beach are better, go ahead and splurge! The older ones are showing their age a bit, but hey, you're not supposed to spend too much time *in* the room, are you? That’s the point! My first room had a… let's call it a "personality." The air conditioner, as mentioned, had a talent for imitating a dying robot. It was a *wail,* let me tell you. After a day, I asked to be moved. They were super accommodating, and the next room was a *massive* improvement. Think comfortable bed, decent AC (praise the sun gods!), and a balcony with a view. Just remember to bring bug spray! And maybe earplugs, if you're a light sleeper. The waves are loud (again, that's the *good* kind of loud!).
What's the vibe? Is it party central or more chill? I need the truth!
The vibe at Merrils II is… a lovely blend. It's more on the chill side of things, but with a healthy dose of fun thrown in. There is a bar, of course. They have music sometimes, not a constant, headache-inducing blast, mind you. More like mellow, reggae-infused tunes that make you want to sway in the sand. You can find it if you want to get rowdy, but it's not the *central* focus. It's perfect for couples, families, groups of friends, and solo travelers like myself. The best thing? Everyone just seems… happy!
Are there any excursions or activities to do nearby? Or am I stuck being a beach bum (which, admittedly, sounds pretty good)?
Oh, you're definitely *not* trapped! Although, yes, being a beach bum is a perfectly viable option. But if you crave adventure! Merrils II is in a great location. You've got boat trips, snorkeling (the water is *gorgeous*), cliff diving at Rick's Cafe is a must-see... even if you're too chicken to jump (like me!). The 7 Mile Beach is right there! There are also tours of the local area, like the Black River Safari or the beautiful Mayfield Falls and many more. I took a taxi to the cliffs north of the hotel and found this little hidden gem, a tiny bar overlooking the ocean. The bartender? He regaled me with stories of his childhood. It was the most wonderfully real experience. Get out of the resort, guys!
What about safety? Is it safe to walk around, or should I stick to the resort?
Safety… it's always a valid concern. Negril is generally pretty safe, especially in the tourist areas. That being said, use common sense. Don’t flash expensive jewelry or huge wads of cash. Don’t wander around alone at night in dimly lit areas. Stick to the well-traveled parts of the beach, especially after sunset. I felt safeRoam And Rests
